Spy

The Sunday Age

Sunday March 13, 2005

LUCY BEAUMONT

Forget harbour views, sportsfans could get closer to heaven

THE Melbourne Cricket Ground is working on plans to offer roof climbs similar to the hugely successful Sydney Harbour Bridge climb undertaken by 1.3 million people since 1998, including Nicole Kidman, Kylie Minogue, Will Smith, Matt Damon, the Duchess of York and Bruce Springsteen.

Melbourne Cricket Club chief executive Stephen Gough told Spy that the MCG had sought the lowdown on the up high activities from the Sydney climb operators - who charge $160 to $225 for three-and-a-half-hour bridge climbs including a certificate and photographic memento - as well as other safety and logistics experts."

We're still in the planning stage ... but it is something we think would be a fantastic tourist attraction," said Mr Gough, who said the potential route would not include the Southern Stand. "They could get up on the new roof and the scoreboard and go around to the end of the new stand."

The MCC chief has scaled the stadium's dizzying heights himself and recommended the experience. "Being so close to the city it is an enormous view back to the west as you look to the city skyline and backdrop.

Then you've got this fantastic view of the arena and out to the Dandenongs."

The sportsground currently runs tours for 100,000 visitors a year and the money-spinning potential was not lost on its custodians."

We see it having huge appeal," said Mr Gough, who added that the MCG onfield mushroom crop he joked about flogging to restaurants in last week's Spy had since been "harvested", or rather mowed.

And what about those naff jumpsuits Sydney climbers don?

"That's part of the requirements you'd have to look at," said Mr Gough. Spy reckons team colours could be a selling point, so long as they don't incite sky high tackles.

When Conrad met Mary

BABY Conrad Stott Smith was the youngest person at the offi- cial Parliament House reception in Canberra for the Danish royals.

But as Princess Mary made her way through the crowd towards his parents - Democrats Senator Natasha Stott Despoja and PR guru Ian Smith - 12-week old Conrad decided he needed some extra attention.Dad, holding the baby, began the time-honoured parental bouncing boogie to soothe him and was joined in sympathy by the tyke's mum.

All three continued the up and down jig as they spoke to the princess. Eventually, Stott Despoja said, "I realise we're bouncing," to which the princess replied, "Let's get our dancing shoes on."

Hit 'em high Sam

3RRR breakfast radio host Sam Pang broke his self-imposed ban on doing guest introductions this week when joined by leading independent actor-director Mario Van Peebles, who arrived with his "publicist", afroed son Mandela. Fellow hosts Tony Wilson and Fee Bamford-Bracher were impressed by Pang - once cited in The Age as "possibly the third-greatest living Chinese footballer" - who whizzed through Van Peebles' acting and directorial resume including Ali, Sweet Sweetbacks Baad Asssss Song (the 1971 film directed by his father Melvin), new film Baadasssss, New Jack City, even Jaws: The Revenge. Then came the moment when "massive fan" Pang got to intro the man himself: "Please welcome Mario Van Pea Beau ... sorry Peebles." "He probably didn't know what Pea Beau is," Pang told Spy. "And that's probably a good thing."

Look at moi, Mary

YOU can take the foxy lady out of Australia but not vice versa. The proof is in Crown Princess Mary of Denmark's audiovisual activities while staying at Sydney's Shangri-La Hotel.

Faced with a disobedient DVD player, the former real estate agent called the hotel handyman to the royal rescue. Shift engineer Steven Georgiou told fellow staffers that in addition to being charming and chatty, Princess Mary was set for a good session of Aussie teev - the latest series of Kath & Kim. The royal couple have been "up to pussy's bow" with public commitments but Spy hopes her private viewing doesn't mess with Mary's regal phonetics, lest her next address include the phrase, "Thanks heaps for having me and Fred, isn't he a hunk o'spunk?" Kim (Gina Riley) told Spy that the royal coupling could have been a very different affair. `'Oi was at the Slip Inn that night when they met," said Kim.

`'And if I hadn't slipped over after too many Baileys, that could have been moi up there. I would've been a huge fairytale - and I mean HEWGE."

Legal types steal the show

FROM the secret lives of eagles file comes the tale of a Melbourne barrister who recently attended 50th birthday party celebrations near Wangaratta for a chap renowned in legal circles. Accompanied by a judge and mindful of drink, driving penalties, the barrister sensibly caught a taxi to the venue. The pair had also put a great deal of thought into their outfits given the party's requirement to dress fancy. But both jaws dropped when, dressed as fairies (one pink, one green with tiaras, wands and one set of fake boobs) they pulled up at the party and observed that no one else was gussied up to the same theatrical extent. The two keen legal minds quickly sussed that they had got the dress requirements wrong, but ignored the cabbie's advice ("If I were you two, I'd keep going") and were the life of the party.

McLachlan extends his 15 minutes

IF ANYONE knows about the caprices of fame it's Craig McLachlan. His Neighbours peers, Kylie Minogue, Jason Donovan and Guy Pearce went on to world domination (OK, Donovan's was shortlived but stick with it) and Craig's hit Mona reached number 2 on the UK charts. A telemovie role as Thredbo survivor Stuart Diver followed Grease onstage, but as he stepped onto the red carpet at the Hating Alison Ashley world premiere at Hoyts Victoria Gardens in Richmond on Wednesday, the teenage girls were screaming for another of the movie's stars, also from Neighbours. "Here comes somebody special," he reassured them as Delta Goodrem arrived, later telling Spy about his upcoming Comedy Festival show. "It's my take on the absurdness of celebrity," said McLachlan, a former plumber from Tumbi Umbi, who was spotted by festival scouts when he did a 15-minute stand-up routine for The Comedy Channel's recent Hit and Run series. "My 15 minutes turned into 55 minutes."

QUESTION

"OUR Mary" has shown that anyone can be a princess and Princess Victoria of Sweden also arrived in Melbourne this week. Spy asked those at the MIX Princesses luncheon and the 15th Melbourne Queer Film Festival: When was the last time you behaved like a Princess?

Jane Marwick, MIX101.1 breakfast host: "This morning.I was being a princess just being out there and looking at Frederik adoringly."

Tiffany Cherry, Fox Footy: "When I stayed at Ashford Castle on an AFL trip to Ireland. It had the priceless artworks and big hallowed hallways.

I went horseriding and they had falconry."

Lisa Daniel, director Queer Film Festival: "Today I carried on like a pork chop when I was getting my (injured) arm attended to."

Nick Ward, captain, Glamourhead Sharks Swim Club: "I'm being a princess right now, up on this stage (having his bare back painted with the festival logo)."

Gary Voyer, manufacturer: "The afterparty for fashion week two years ago. I had my gorgeous short skirt on and my fabulous long legs and my red hair, all tarted up."

EYESPY

- Golden girl Cathy Freeman leaving Penguin Books' Camberwell offices Wednesday.

Could the retired sports star be doing a David Beckham and planning a sequel to Cathy: Her Own Story, or is talk of a kid's version closer to the mark?

- Mini Australian Idol Anthony Callea strolling with his posse across Church Street, Richmond towards the Public House where Dannii Minogue, Michael Klim and Ian Thorpe had already got the post, Grand Prix party started. Jacques Villeneuve, David Coulthard, Jenson Button, Olivia Newton-John, daughter Chloe, Totti Goldsmith, Shane Warne and Aaron Hamill later joined the (disappointingly) well-behaved crew. While Dannii played hostess, all paid their own way and were apparently good tippers.

- Jimoen getting way down at the Red Bull Grand Prix afterparty at the Stokehouse. Fellow comedic talents Dave Hughes and Peter Hellier were less boogie-inclined.

Spied a star, pollie, business baron or royal highness? Email Spy. Got a camera phone? Email your snaps of stars out and about. The best will win a Village double movie pass. This week we snapped Rachael Carpani from McLeod's Daughters at the Hating Alison Ashley premiere.

WIN

Spied a star, pollie, business baron or royal highness? Email Spy. Got a camera phone? Email your snaps of stars out and about. The best will win a Village double movie pass. This week we snapped Rachael Carpani from McLeod's Daughters at the Hating Alison Ashley premiere.

Jaga Jaga jeep goes offroad

FORMER Banyule mayor Jenny Mulholland, now deputy since Greg Ryan took the reins in December, has just relinquished the mayoral Pajero 4WD, but not before a council meeting like an episode from the ABC's Grass Roots series. While an earlier meeting gave Cr Mulholland shared use of the car, it was on the agenda again on February 21. Both the Mayor and deputy declared pecuniary interests, prompting a motion that neither get jeep privileges. Much procedural motioning followed with Cr Mulholland declared acting chair at 9.30pm. The Mayor and councillors Dean Sherriff, Sean Rawson and Dale Peters walked out, leaving the meeting without a quorum. The four returned at 9.32pm with the mayor resuming the chair, at which point his deputy left the chamber. She returned then left again at 9.35, returning at 9.37 to find the no- Pajero motion carried. "It was an absolute circus," said Cr Rawson, who called for a State Government inquiry into the mayoral election (in which he was a candidate) last year.

The car's return was her choice, Cr Mulholland told Spy. "Greg gave me the car, as deputy mayor, so that we'd be able to do double the work. But it was being used as a political football."

Queer festival comes with a warning

WITH her arm in a sling, the director of Melbourne's 15th Queer Film Festival, Lisa Daniel, has promised never to ride a Vespa in the lead-up to the event again.

Calling on the page-turning services of a festival convenor to get through her welcoming speech, Ms Daniel also issued a warning to the opening night crowd at the Astor on Thursday. "I've had a minor medical procedure today," she said. "So I may begin channelling Anna Nicole Smith at any time."

spy@theage.com.au

Spyphone: (03) 9601 2881 Spyfax: (03) 9601 3103

© 2005 The Sunday Age

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